Juno is Really Bad

As in nauseatingly bad. There are few movies that are so horrible as to cause me to leave the room, and Juno is one of them. The dialog, especially Juno's, is risibly overdramatic. The acting is likewise terrible. The movie is boring. What are they doing? What is the movie about? Where is the entertainment? Ellen Page just looks and sounds like an absurd caricature of some 1990s caricature of some stupid hippie! I couldn't stand her! Blah blah blah "Sonic Youth" blah blah blah "old horror movies"! Shut up! You sound like a pretentious know-it-all retard! And it wouldn't even be so bad if her interests weren't so stereotypical! It's as though they wanted to make the title character unique by giving her every non-conformist stereotype there is! We get the point!

It's still going on downstairs. I can hear the stupidity and pretentiousness wafting up to my room...

Please excuse me, I have to vomit.

EDIT: Someone agrees with me! Praise the Lord!

I do know that I didn’t like the lead character all too much, with her condescending and smart-alecky comments, and her fast-talking “extremely mature for her age” dialogue. Straight up, man…how many 16-year old girls today know anything about “The Stooges” or rock ‘n roll from the late 70s? This girl was quoting things most people in my generation haven’t even heard of…but someone born in 1992 apparently has smart-ass remarks about Soupy Sales and Franklin Roosevelt ready to go in her back-pocket?? Give me a break.
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Most of her dialogue also felt very “written” as in films like HEATHERS, but that type of wording works in a “fantasy” movie in which co-eds are getting killed and such, but this picture was based in reality, so there are only so many of these exchanges (Friend: “So what's the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus?” Juno: “I don't know. It's not seasoned yet. I'll take some of these. Nope...there it is. The little pink plus sign is so unholy.” Friend: “That ain't no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet.”) that one can take before you say to yourself: “You know what…today’s kids just don’t talk this way!!” No surprise, the film’s screenwriter is a 30-year old woman, seemingly trying to write like a 16-year old. Aaaaaaaah! Dialogue issues aside though, I never really got emotionally involved in this film either, seeing as I wasn’t really into the lead character, who despite starting off pretty harsh, did “soften up” a little by the end of the movie (thank God!). I did enjoy the Bateman/Jennifer Garner storyline though (this storyline felt more real) as well as Juno’s rapport with her pops (played by the awesome J.K. Simmons), but unfortunately the film focuses on Juno, who unlike Max Fischer in RUSHMORE, just seemed a little too mature for her age, but more importantly…unrealistic and somewhat annoying.

And another!

But it also has a script, by Diablo Cody, that ties itself in knots striving to be cool enough for the young folks. Every time a character comes out with another up-to-the-minute reference or expression (“Oh my blog!”), “Juno” feels more like Hollywood’s desperate bid for the fickle attention of the YouTube generation.
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As if to assure the audience that “Juno” will resemble television shows they already like, the movie begins with a cameo by Rainn Wilson, the nerdy Dwight of “The Office.” Here he plays a prying pharmacist who, as Juno inspects the plus sign on her pregnancy test stick, utters the chastening words, “That’s one doodle that can’t be undid, home skillet.” “Juno” consists not really of dialogue, but of zingers, an endless stream of them. [Thank you! Thank you! - Ed.] When Juno’s parents (the estimable Allison Janney and J.K. Simmons) learn that their daughter is in the family way, Mom immediately deadpans, “I was hoping she was expelled or on hard drugs.” All that’s missing is the laugh track. Characters are reduced to wisecrack delivery systems, and Juno’s part itself resembles a mercilessly extended stand-up routine.