Consummate dilettantism!

Friday, August 28, 2009

BLCU's International Student Handbook

Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

On the orientation meeting:
You may find the keys to your puzzles and questions there.
On "laws and school regulations":
No religious activities or gatherings are permitted on campus. [Includes private prayer, I guess...]
Distribution or posting of propaganda materials is forbidden on the camps.
Also forbidden on the campus are gambling, excessive drinking, fights and scuffles, taking drugs... [Bye bye Benadryl, cheap-ass bottles of this stuff...]
On "awards and penalties":
Once the student receives disciplinary probation, the BLCU [yeah, "the BLCU"] will not only inform the students himself [yeah, "the students himself"] but his embassy, agency, office or parents. [Oh no, not mom and dad!]
On "holidays and leisure":
What is more, the university will also organize international students in Beijing or from all over China to take part in various cultural activities each year. The purpose is to make your life in China livelier, to enhance friendship among students from different countries and to leave a wonderful memory of your life, study in BLCU and in China. Therefore we expect your active participation. [...for make benefit glorious nation of China! Reminds me of this a bit:
Singaporean television is big on explaining Singaporeans to themselves. Model families, Chinese, Malay, or Indian, act out little playlets explicating the customs of each culture. The familial world implied in these shows is like Leave It To Beaver without The Beave, a sphere of idealized paternalism that can only remind Americans my age of America's most fulsome public sense of itself in the mid-1950s.

"Gosh, dad, I'm really glad you took the time to explain the Feast of the Hungry Ghosts to us in such minutely comprehensive detail."

"Look, son, here comes your mother with a nutritious low-cholesterol treat of fat-free lup cheong and skimmed coconut milk "

Oh, and there's also a "Purified Water Shop". Water of all shapes and colors, I guess...

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