New York Times Memo Re:Kristol's Hiring

The New York Times has hired William Kristol, neo-conservative commentator, to write opinion pieces for the editorial page. Shocking, I know. Here's a funny imaginary memo sent to the Times employees regarding his hiring:

Welcome back. I hope everyone had a wonderfully secular winter solstice.

Many of you no doubt have heard the news that, in the grand tradition of diversity that is a hallmark of this great newspaper, conservative Bill Kristol will soon join us as an opinion columnist. I’m personally quite pleased to finally add the elusive neo-conservative species to the New York Times employee mosaic. Further, I am confident that Mr. Kristol will look absolutely fabulous sitting in between the transgendered Mongolian-American proofreader, Genghis John, and Darnae, our formaldehyde-entombed, late-term abortion mascot.

Read the whole thing.